Army veteran Wes Byrd and his wife, Jill, were hesitant to travel to the Travis Mills Foundation Veterans Retreat for a week-long experience in the organization’s Family Program – very hesitant.
“I was scared to death,” Jill said. “I’m a planner and I was nervous.”
In the days before their journey from Toledo, Texas, to the Belgrade Lakes Region of Maine, Wes repeatedly texted his wife, insisting that he wasn’t going. They worried about the panic attacks that Wes has at 4 a.m. every day, the flight, the logistics of traversing the campus, and more.
Jill had learned about the Travis Mills Foundation through a caregiver support forum and posed a number of questions to fellow caregivers before the trip.
“Everyone kept telling me, ‘Don’t stress: it’s going to be the best week of your life – the most relaxing week of your life,’” Jill said. “And they were not lying one bit.”
Almost as soon as Wes and Jill arrived at the Retreat, they felt an overwhelming sense of relief.
“Oh man, I’m so glad I did come,” Wes added.
Service
Wes served in the United States Army for 9 years and in 2007, was injured in an IED blast in Iraq that destroyed the truck he was traveling in. Subsequently, he experienced lasting injuries to his back and head.
While Wes and Jill weren’t officially a couple during the early years of his service, they talked regularly.
“He was my brother’s best friend in the Army,” Jill said, adding that they made their relationship official in 2008 during Wes’s final deployment.
Despite being out of the military for more than a decade, Wes and Jill face physical, emotional, and cognitive challenges daily.
Veterans Retreat
Wes said that typically, he stays in his room during family vacations. At the Travis Mills Foundation Veterans Retreat, however, he tried almost everything.
“A couple days after we got back, Wes was looking back at the pictures and videos,” Jill said. “He missed them. They all still talk almost every day – and that is so cool.”
Wes conquered multiple challenges on the TMF ropes course.
“I didn’t ring the bell or anything – I should have,” he added. “Next time, I will.”
Jill, watching from the ground, saw Wes struggling.
“He has lung issues and when he got up there, I could see him concentrating so hard,” she said. “He was holding his breath and his legs were turning purple – I thought he was ready to pass out.”
Next time, besides ringing the bell, Wes plans to conquer higher levels of the course.
Another activity he’s glad he didn’t miss out on was tubing with Kinley.
“That was so much fun,” he said, along with swimming in Maine’s Long Pond.
“I did cannon balls with the guys,” he added. “I hadn’t swam in a lake since I was a kid.”
While the Byrds no doubt had a great time at the Retreat, they also learned about ways they can incorporate fitness into their lives back at home. The Health & Wellness Center, opened in 2022, includes mainstream, state-of-the-art fitness equipment that recalibrated participants can learn how to adapt.
Wes and Jill especially liked the Tonal, a wall-mounted smart home gym system that uses electromagnetic weights to replace conventional gym equipment.
“He was using it to do stretches,” Jill said. “It really helped him.”
The family was surprised at the level of convenience that using a golf cart provided during their experience at TMF. Each family is assigned a golf cart upon their arrival at the Retreat so they can navigate the property for different activities.
“Having a golf cart was one of the biggest things that benefited our family,” Jill said. “There’s a fairground a quarter mile from our house and we either have to load up the wheelchair and drive so we can all go together or we send him down separately and then we drive down.”
“Having a golf cart (at the Retreat) opened up the possibilities for us to do things together as a family,” she added.
Connection
On Date Night of each Retreat week, the adults have an elegant plated dinner and their children are treated to ice cream, boat rides and more.
On Wes and Jill’s Wednesday Date Night – a particularly rainy one – they and the other adults gathered in the Retreat living room to enjoy some adult time.
“I threw it out there and just said, ‘Can we go around the room and say how couples met each other?’” Jill said. “Some of the guys really opened up.”
“It was empowering,” Wes added.
There are more activities that Wes wants to try during future visits to the Retreat, including kayaking and paddle boarding.
“I really could have done them, but I decided to sit on the dock and b***sh** instead,” he added. “That’s fun.”
Throughout the week, Jill witnessed a side of her husband that she rarely ever sees.
“He was in the dining room talking to a bunch of veterans by himself and that kind of stuff never really happens. Especially in new places, Wes never really leaves my side” she said.
From the variety of the food offered by the TMF head chef and staff – especially the chocolate chip cookies – to the ease of participating in adaptive activities, the Byrd family holds the entire experience in high esteem.
They’re even planning to get together with another family who lives in a nearby state. The Byrds hope to come to Maine as not only participants, but to volunteer with fellow post-9/11 recalibrated veteran families.
“If our story goes out to (Foundation) supporters, I want to say, “Thank you,” Jill said. “On behalf of our entire family.”